This is the first year, the year of our Lord 2019, that I have opted not to make a resolution related to eating cleaner, working out more, or losing weight. Even in years past, if I outwardly pretended that I was "over" resolutions or said something along the lines of, "it's really more about intentions, … Continue reading Weight Weight, Don’t Tell Me, Vol. 2
When I was a child, a girl that I knew told me that a boy, someone older, had molested her. She cried when she told me. I remember asking her questions, trying to ascertain details, trying to determine the likelihood that she was telling me the truth. Later, I talked to another friend, who also … Continue reading To the Girls Who Were Drunk When it Happened to Them
There are so many reasons not to want to be an alcoholic. It's not the most glamorous affliction, and it doesn't get the best rep. The word "alcoholic" instantly conjures up (for me) some old white man of varying functionality, mourning his wasted youth. I know that I'm not alone in this visual reflex - … Continue reading Now What?
Thinking about my own personal history of drinking is a lot like Bernard's story line on Westworld (if you don't watch Westworld, I don't know what to tell you. Get your shit together). Every time I think I have figured out when one chapter of my drinking ended (i.e. the blacking out phase) and another … Continue reading How Do You Know When You’re Done?
Disclaimer: Please know that this is simply my experience of what alcoholism looked like for me, and that alcohol is a talented and bewitching friend/foe that can take on many shapes, roles, and purposes, and will look different for many people. If you are worried that you have a drinking problem, I would suggest talking … Continue reading How I Knew I Was an Alcoholic
I work with a client who is having a difficult year. Most years of his life have been difficult; he is 8. There are so many aspects of his life and identity that are complicated and not easy that even if I weren't legally bound not to discuss him publicly by privacy laws, it would … Continue reading Being OK with Not Being OK
There was a period of time a year or so ago when I got creepily obsessed (is there any other way to be obsessed?) with serial killers and gruesome murders. A friend had just recommended the "My Favorite Murder" podcast, and it was a dark time in my life anyway, and one thing lead to … Continue reading Me Three
What are you supposed to write about on your depression blog when your depression lifts and your feeling pretty good? It's a question many of us grapple with. Surely I am not the only one who impulsively started a blog about my experience with depression without the foresight that one day I might start feeling … Continue reading So I Guess I’m Cured Now?
My family subscribed to Readers Digest when I was growing up, and I read it regularly. We also subscribed to People, which is why I know an odd amount of celebrity factoids (which has served me well once - and only once - at a trivia night. Did you know that Jack Nicholson was raised … Continue reading I’m Playing it for You First
I can't maintain a blog about (my) depression without discussing my off-again, on-again relationship with alcohol and the torture we put each other through for years. In fact, the interaction between myself, alcohol, and depression is the only love triangle that I have ever been involved with, besides, of course, all of the people who … Continue reading I Don’t Drink, and I Know Things